p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
