why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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