Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
