sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize