You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
