well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The beer is more important than you right now.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
