Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
