is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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