Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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