Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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