This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
