ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
