I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
