Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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