you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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