I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
