At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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