I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
