she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
