you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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