yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
