i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
