I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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