at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
