omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
