We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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