so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
