Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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