I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
