it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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