Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
