His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
