batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
