We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
