Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
