I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
