just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize