I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
