I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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