i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
