plz talk dirty to me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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