I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
