Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
