We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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