dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
