Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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