I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
