I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You are a genius and a whore.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
