i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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