If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
